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For the want of a utensil - basched
basched
basched
For the want of a utensil
Title: For the want of a utensil
Characters/Pairings: slight Ryan/Stephen , Abby, Connor, Cutter, Claudia  
Genre:   humour 
Rating:  Fine for all
Summary:. Did anyone bring a knife? 
Author's Note: This is a little silly piece about Captain Ryan's brithday cake . Not beta'd . But do enjoy.  



Happy birthday dear Tom! Happy birthday to you!

The candles were lit and blown out. There was a round of applause.

“Time to cut the cake!” said Cutter patting the Captain heartily on the back.

“Yeah!” Connor clapped his hands together and rubbed them gleefully. “I’m starving!”

Abby clipped him round the ear.

“Patience!” she said, smirking. “Besides, it’s Ryan’s cake! Not yours!”

“Did you make a wish?” asked Stephen, his voice low in whisper in Tom’s ear.

 Ryan smiled. He had made a wish all right and if it came true then he would be out of here as soon as possible and at last he could be alone with Stephen.

 It was nice to be with his friends, but he hadn’t planned on a party for his birthday. He never much cared for them, mainly because he never had them before. It was a little discomforting and more than frustrating having them fuss about him so.  

“Okay…Captain. Are you going to cut the cake?” asked Claudia.

“With what?”  Ryan looked down at the table. There was no knife.

“Does anyone have a knife?” asked Claudia again, looking round the whole room.

There was a chorus of “no” and then silence. Ryan sighed and for the sake of his friends he mentally rolled his eyes so only he knew how frustrated he was. Their voices all began to speak at once and created the exact kind of hubbub Ryan didn’t want to experience. A slight headache began to form, niggling at the back of his mind.

“Nick, I thought you brought a knife.”

“Obviously I didn’t bring one, Claudia! Connor…did you bring a knife?”

“Was I supposed to?”

“Abby?”

“I brought the cake.”

“So no one thought to actually bring a knife to cut the cake? Oh that’s just great! Stephen?”

“It’s a funny thing. For the first time I don’t actually have one on me.”

“So how are we going to cut the cake? Can we go and get one?”

“We have legs don’t we? The kitchen’s not that far.”

“Well done, Connor, for volunteering.”

“What? How was that volunteering?”

“Can someone please get a knife? It doesn’t have to be Connor!”

“I’ll go!”

“No I’ll go!”

“Does it take more than one person to fetch a knife? Seriously?”

“No. Connor was going to get it.”

“I didn’t volunteer!”

“It quite simple, someone goes to the kitchen, opens the draw, picks a knife and brings it back here to cut the cake!”

“And that’s stopping you from getting it, how, Nick?”

“Fine! I’ll go and get the knife!”

“So I don’t have to go then?”

“No Connor, Professor Cutter is getting the knife.”

“I can go and get it if you want.”

“No thank you Stephen, I am capable of getting it.”

“Can you actually go now?”

“Do you know, if someone had gone earlier, we would already have a knife?”

“But we don’t have one, why even point that out, Connor?”

“I’m just saying! If we hadn’t all been arguing about who would go and get the knife and actually went and got one, we wouldn’t be arguing about who would go and get the knife! Right?”

“If we had brought one in the first place…”

“Are you saying it’s my fault now?”

“No, Abby….I’m not. I merely saying that if the knife was on the same plate as the cake then….”

The gun was in Ryan’s hand before anyone could notice and then he let off three shots into the birthday cake that Abby had made.  The cake sprayed everywhere and over everyone and the room was plunged into silence.

Somehow…the headache seemed to have stopped.  Ryan smiled.

“Much better.”  

    



Tags: , , , , ,
Current Mood: cold cold

28 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
freddiejoey From: freddiejoey Date: February 24th, 2012 12:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is priceless - but then Tom and guns......

Great fic!
basched From: basched Date: February 24th, 2012 07:31 pm (UTC) (Link)

After everyone arguing like that...and no knife, what would you expect Tom to do?! :)

Thanks lass! So pleased you like it.
flaccidduck From: flaccidduck Date: February 24th, 2012 12:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
The idea of exploding cake and the silence that follows is wonderful.

And I hope Stephen gives him a nice present later too.
basched From: basched Date: February 24th, 2012 07:32 pm (UTC) (Link)

I think Stephen will make sure he gets a lovely present!

Thanks for reading. :)
reggietate From: reggietate Date: February 24th, 2012 01:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL!
basched From: basched Date: February 24th, 2012 07:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you! :)
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: February 24th, 2012 02:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL, so that's how the cake ended up in pieces!
basched From: basched Date: February 24th, 2012 07:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

The only way when you haven't got a knife! :) And well...obviously if you happen to have a gun handy.

Thanks.
clea2011 From: clea2011 Date: February 24th, 2012 06:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! Very funny! :-)
basched From: basched Date: February 24th, 2012 07:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thanks! Glad it made you laff! :)
ebonyfeather From: ebonyfeather Date: February 24th, 2012 06:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
...and then Ryan got to lick the icing from the exploded cake off Stephen?

This is great- I love them all bickering, and then Ryan's way of shutting them up.
basched From: basched Date: February 24th, 2012 07:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
If that's the way you wanna take it! For sure! ;) hee!

Thanks for reading Eb! And well...to shoot a cake is pretty much the way to get the others to stop bickering! :)

knitekat From: knitekat Date: February 24th, 2012 07:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL, well that is one way to cut a cake ;)
basched From: basched Date: February 24th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

It's Ryan's way to cut a cake!! :) For sure!!

Glad it made you laugh. :)
joshinator From: joshinator Date: February 25th, 2012 01:36 am (UTC) (Link)
This is just the best!
basched From: basched Date: February 25th, 2012 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)
You flatter me muchly with that comment! Thank you! Though I wouldn't say it.

I'm just pleased that you liked it. :) Thanks for reading.
rodlox From: rodlox Date: February 25th, 2012 02:23 am (UTC) (Link)

<-Ryan's thoughts about now, yes?

excellent thought, Ryan - use cavitation to carve the cake into nice-sized portions.

>! Stephen?”
>“It’s a funny thing. For the first time I don’t actually have one on me.”
you have no idea how amused I am. (hint: more than VERY) :)

an excellent fic. very much in the spirit of "for want of a nail")


ps: I like the Jayne image at page top.


basched From: basched Date: February 25th, 2012 07:00 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: <-Ryan's thoughts about now, yes?


Yeah, I think Ryan would be wanting to kick everyone's arse for that! lol

I did think at the time when I wrote this that Stephen would normally have one on him any way...but for the purposes of the story...it was funnier if he didn't! Glad you liked that bit and the story.


ps. Thank you! I had my friend do me a Jayne and River design for my LJ which included some Metallica lyrics. She came up with this and well...Jayne is just darned awesome ain't he?! :)
rodlox From: rodlox Date: February 25th, 2012 10:22 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: <-Ryan's thoughts about now, yes?



>Glad you liked that bit and the story.
I'm always a huge fan of the times when Stephen *isn't* Mr. Prepared. :)

>Jayne is just darned awesome ain't he?! :)
"That being obvious, i don't got to reply, do i?" "it'd be the polite thing ta do." "..."
basched From: basched Date: February 27th, 2012 10:51 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: <-Ryan's thoughts about now, yes?


:) Thanks you again!

Yeah...I really didn't need to ask the question. Jayne says it all!! :)
aunteeneenah From: aunteeneenah Date: February 25th, 2012 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)

L

What fun! Leave it to Ryan to come up with the "obvious" solution! lol
basched From: basched Date: February 25th, 2012 07:01 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: L


Well of course! :) Thank you for reading and it means a lot that you liked it. :)
fififolle From: fififolle Date: February 25th, 2012 07:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
LMAO!!!! So *that's* how it happened!!! I can see why *vbg*
Bloody brilliant.
basched From: basched Date: February 27th, 2012 10:52 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you very much for reading it! Glad you likes! :)
kristen_mara From: kristen_mara Date: February 26th, 2012 10:27 am (UTC) (Link)

Love the bantering/arguing after they'd forgotten the one vital ingredient *G*

basched From: basched Date: February 27th, 2012 10:54 am (UTC) (Link)

Thanks! :) Much appreciation for your kind words and for reading it! Cheers!
lsellersfic From: lsellersfic Date: March 8th, 2012 07:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL!
basched From: basched Date: March 19th, 2012 11:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Glad you like. :)
28 comments or Leave a comment