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Darkness & Light II - basched — LiveJournal
Darkness & Light II

Title: Darkness & Light (2/?)
Characters: Becker/Matt, Jess, Lester, Connor, Abby, Emily, Weston (OC)
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, slash
Rating: NC-17 
Summary: The past catches up with them.
Author's Note: This is the second part of my D&L story for primeval_denial  Beta'd as always by the lovely fredbassett 
Do enjoy... well.... let me know what you think.  

Part I

1 week ago:

Jess was told there was going to be a visitor. Lester had pretty much said it was an old friend and that when he arrived she was to show him to his office.

At first Jess tried to think about what a friend of James Lester would be like, but she didn’t expect to see a tall, striking man of about Lester’s age, in a tatty t-shirt, jeans and muddy boots come strolling into the Hub. This was exact opposite of what she thought a friend of Lester’s would be, but she wasn’t going to be rude to the man.

She might do a bit of discreet information gathering, though.

Jess slipped off of her chair, pushed her headset down to hang around her neck, and was about to greet the man but Lester appeared out of nowhere. There was a grim expression upon Lester’s face, more so than usual.  

The two men shook hands and Lester politely showed the man into his office. They sat down and immediately started talking. Jess tried to read their lips and see what this important situation was, but she was distracted briefly when Connor, Abby and Emily came back from the latest mission. She heard Abby and Emily saying something, but she became transfixed once more by the man talking to Lester. Eventually, when they got no response from her, all three of her friends and work mates were watching the two men with her. They were anything but subtle about their observations.

“Who is it?” asked Connor leaning on the back of Jess’ chair.

She shrugged her shoulders. “A friend of his apparently.” she replied.

“That is one of the Lester’s friends?”  Emily sounded surprised as Jess was and when she saw the expressions on the others’ faces, it seemed they had had similar thoughts as her. How could someone so scruffy and rough-looking be James Lester’s friend?

“What’s he here for?”  Abby asked as they continued to watch with curiosity.

“I don’t know.” Jess momentarily looked at her friends and realised that there were two others missing. “Where’s Becker and Matt?”

“They’re just putting away the last of the weapons,” Abby responded. “They’ll be along… speak of the devils.”

Everyone’s attention was torn away from Lester’s mystery guest and Jess beamed a happy smile at the sight of the two friends joking and laughing as they strode in together. It was lovely to see the two team leaders being on good terms again and when Becker and Matt were happy, their good mood radiated to the rest of the team.

Matt said something that had both of them in stitches and it was a surprise to everyone else, because they had never seen Becker laugh like that before. Normally he just chuckled lightly or smiled but this was a full out belly laugh and it was absolutely adorable.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, hiding her blushing cheeks as best she could as Becker and Matt approached her console to hand back their black boxes. The two tried to catch their breaths and everyone waited to hear the hilarious joke or story, but when Becker turned and his grin widened at the sight of the man in Lester’s office, the joke was completely forgotten.

Becker recognised Lester’s guest and he seemed genuinely pleased to see him, but Matt’s happy mood vanished instantly.

A moment later, Lester had concluded the talk and the two men got up from their chairs. Becker ignored Jess completely as she asked the question again and instead he half ran and half walked up to the office door.

The man saw him and was quite surprised, but there was a weak and genuinely pleased smile upon his face. It widened a fraction as Becker flung his arms around him and gave him a squeezing and almost choking hug. 

“Colonel Weston! I mean… sir!”  The look of utter joy on Becker’s face was akin to a child’s delight at seeing Christmas or birthday presents.  “It is so good to see you, sir! What brings you to the ARC?”

“It’s good to see you too, boy.” The older man hugged him back but that smile didn’t last long and neither did Becker’s when his old CO and mentor looked away from him. “But, I’m sorry, I’m not here to see you.”

“Oh? Of course,” Becker stood to attention and was much more formal in his behaviour towards the man. “Who have you come to see?”

The whole team watched as the man stepped aside and took several steps past Becker without acknowledging him further.

He then addressed Matt. 

“Matt Anderson.”

The way he said Matt’s name was enough to up the tension in the room. It was anything but polite. Jess watched as Becker’s own joy at seeing his mentor faded into utter bewilderment.

“Craig,” Matt’s hissed through clenched teeth. “What do you want?”

Becker’s eyes widened. “Sir? What’s going on?”

The man wasn’t going to dignify Becker with an explanation. It was pretty obvious to Jess and the others that the colonel was someone of great importance to their friend but he had business with Matt, not Becker and it wasn’t going to be pleasant. 

“Anderson, I need you to come with me.”  It was supposed to be an order, a command, but it didn’t come out as that. The firm tone, the authority in his voice wavered slightly as Matt starred back at him with clear detest. “We need you.”

“No,”  Matt replied, his accent sounding thicker as he tried to keep a restraint on his anger.  “Sort your own mess out.”

Becker came and stood between Matt and his old CO.  “Matt? This man is the best I’ve ever served with! He’s…”

“I’m not getting into an argument with you, Becker. Not over this.”

“Then what’s going on?” Becker asked.

“It’s nothing that concerns you, boy,” Weston responded coldly “At least… not now.”

Jess nervously toyed with her headset as Becker turned away from Matt and grabbed at Weston’s shoulder. When Weston didn’t look at him, Becker gave him a shove and that finally got his attention. 

“This is about my father, isn’t it?” Becker stated, not even bothering to hide his contempt. Weston gently eased Becker’s hand off of him and his features softened slightly, his affection for Becker clearly showing in his eyes.

“I’m not going to discuss this with you in front of the civilians,” Weston said.

 Lester smoothly interjected. “Then let’s go to my office and talk about it in private.”

Becker wasn’t having any of it. He shook his head and Jess saw that his resolve and calm were slowly fading. 

“Sir, if this is anything to do with my dad, I need to know now!”

“Not here!”

 “I need to know what that bastard has done! Tell me! Matt?” 

Matt wasn’t even looking at him either.

“Weston, we had an agreement,” he said.

The colonel sneered. “I had hoped you would come willingly, but I have my orders and you don’t have a choice in the matter, besides you know full well I could arrest you right now,” Weston threatened. “I could put you away for the rest of your life, knowing the things you’ve done.”

Matt chuckled, clearly very much amused at that last statement. 

Jess wished she hadn’t heard Matt do that. She wished they had gone into Lester’s office because it was much more private and because this was beyond uncomfortable.

 “Matt?” Becker grabbed at Matt’s arm in an attempt to pull him out of the face-off he was having with his old CO but Matt didn’t even try to shrug him off or push him away, he glared at the older man standing opposite him with threatening intent raging in his eyes.

Jess felt a small pang of fear swell in her chest and she knew it was because of Matt and the way he was behaving. She had never been afraid of Matt before, she had always known him to be good man and thought him quite sweet when they had first met, but this… she didn’t like how he was behaving now. This wasn’t him, was it?  

Matt closed the gap between them and Weston and smiled widely.

“I’m not going anywhere… especially with you.

 “Oi.” Becker gently pushed Matt back and glared at him. “Don’t speak to him like that.  This man was not only my former CO and a damned fine officer, but he is like a father to me. Watch your tone, Matt.”

“I pretty much don’t care what you think of him, Becker.”

“You what?”  Becker barged himself against Matt with his chest pushing him back, clearly insulted at Matt’s comment about Weston. “You want to say that again?”

“You don’t know this man, Becker. Not really. You can’t trust him!”

“Well… I trust him a lot more than I do you right now.”

Jess took a sharp intake of breath and clasped her hands nervously, not understanding completely how the two friends were now against each other. Connor looked just as upset and confused, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to make sense of what was happening. None of them could think as Becker and Matt glared at each other, their joviality gone.

Thankfully, Lester urgently insisted they all go into his office to discuss the matter further. Matt was extremely reluctant, it seemed he was going protest about having to discuss any of this, but seeing the agitation and frustration on Becker’s face, he finally agreed, resigned to the fact that he was going to have to explain something he really didn’t want to. He slowly followed behind the three other men and when the door closed, Jess and the other members of the team, moved so they could get a better picture through the window.

Lester saw what they were trying to do and closed the blinds. 

“I have a really bad feeling about this.” said Connor, taking hold of Abby’s hand and squeezing it.  

Abby ignored the obvious quote he did but agreed with him, nodding her head. “This is not going to end well.”

 It didn’t end well at all. 

An hour later, something happened in the conversation that got Becker riled up so much that he stormed out of the office, flinging open the door so hard that it crashed against the wall.  A few moments later, Matt came out and Jess almost didn’t recognise him.

He was very angry and beyond distraught.

“Matt!” Lester called out when he caught up with Matt and went to reach out to stop him in his tracks.  “Matt!”

It almost sounded like he was pleading? That wasn’t possible, Lester wasn’t the kind of man who begged for anything. This was serious. 

Matt spun round and gave the other man a shove so hard that Lester was nearly knocked off his feet. If it hadn’t been for Emily catching Lester and steadying him, he would have fallen to the floor.  Matt was beyond fuming. 

“Back off!”

The room fell silent. No one could utter another word as they looked in horror at their field leader and friend. Matt didn’t even seem to care and instead of apologising or even pretending to, he stormed out after Becker.  It took a while before anyone could say anything.

“What? What the hell was that all about?” asked Abby as Lester began to smooth out the rumples on his suit. He looked shaken, a little paler than normal but he always found his composure and he found it with a simple sweep of his fingers through his hair. 

“It was something that could have been handled with a lot more care and finesse in my opinion!” Lester glared at Weston. “What on Earth did you expect to achieve by telling Becker that? I thought you were going to be your usual subtle and tactful self, Craig! I allowed you to come in here because I thought you would break this to my staff gently! Instead you’ve dropped a very significant heap of—what I can only describe as excrement - on my head of security! You’ve thrown accusations at my field leader and you’ve ruined the natural flow of things in my ARC! What the hell were you hoping to achieve?”

“Granted, yes…it could have been done better, but when matters concern his father, Hilary doesn’t react well and I don’t blame him. You, however, should research more into the people you, hire, James.” Weston shook his head in dismay, “If you had found out anything about his background you would know that Matt Anderson is not the kind of man you want running things around here.  He is extremely dangerous and his dealings with Becker’s family… well, the less you know the better.”

Jess thought that perhaps this Colonel Weston didn’t know Matt was from the future. It would make sense that anyone growing up in a world swarming with predators would be dangerous, they would have to be to survive. But Matt wasn’t dangerous dangerous was he? He wasn’t some kind of psycho. Surely!

“I have been ordered to bring him in, James, for questioning,” Weston continued. “He is a part of this investigation and it will be extremely likely that he will be removed from the ARC afterwards.”

“Wait! You can’t do that!” yelled Connor, who would have confronted the colonel if Abby hadn’t held him back. “We won’t let you do that!”

“Actually, son… you don’t have a choice. I can take Anderson from this post and I will make sure that he doesn’t come back.”  Weston dug his hands into his pockets and then casually walked towards the exit. “Think about it, James. You know I’m right about these things. I’m always right. I’ll come back tomorrow when things have calmed down. It might be better.”

Jess was about to give him a piece of her mind for coming into the ARC and making such arrogant statements like that, however, Lester’s hand gently rested on her shoulder and kept her from doing so, and they simply watched Weston disappear from sight.

When he was gone, when the lift doors finally closed, that was when everyone started spouting questions at Lester, all that the same time and all of them trying to sound above everyone else.

“Enough!” Lester’s loud outburst silenced them all after their constant berating began to grate on the last of his nerves.  “Don’t we all have some work to be getting on with, paperwork to file or some such?”

“You’re not going to let him take Matt away from here, are you?” Connor asked jabbing an angry finger in the direction Weston had just gone. “You know he’s wrong! Yeah?”

“No, I don’t know that he’s wrong, though the allegations are serious.”

“What’s going on, Lester?” Emily asked.

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

 “But this is big,” Abby added. “Surely we should know! They’re our friends!”

Lester shook his head and straightened his tie, even though it didn’t need straightening. He thanked Emily for her aid with a curt little nod and walked back to his office, saying nothing. He paused at the door and turned round, seeing the four of them still staring back at him.

“You all have jobs to do! Do them! Jess, aren’t you supposed to be monitoring Beta team on that rabid dog thing?”

Jess pulled a remote out of her cardigan pocket and pressed a button as she still had her back to her console. Words in red flashed across all her screens, clearly indicating that everything was already being monitored and recorded.  None of them budged and Lester stood at his half broken office door until it was evident he wasn’t going to be left alone without giving them some answers.

 “Fine.” He sighed heavily. “Craig Weston is an old friend of mine and was Becker’s previous CO who recommended him here.  I was made privy to a lot, and while some of it is personal to Captain Becker, all I know is that for the past ten years there has been an investigation into some of the military’s higher ranking officers. There have been some problems, the investigation has been compromised and evidence was tampered with.”

“Is Matt a part of the investigation?” Emily asked.


“And this has something to do with Becker’s dad?” Abby queried.

“Matt was under Gregory Becker’s command when he was in the army.”

“So Matt and Becker knew each other before they met at the ARC?”


  Things made a little more sense to Jess knowing that. She had been there when they had supposedly met for the first time, she had told Matt that Becker was really quite sweet, but now that she thought about it, their mannerisms, body language and eye contact had suggested familiarity. So, they had a past no one knew about, whether they had been friends or rivals, it didn’t matter, they had kept it secret. Why? Jess was innately curious. Their friendship over the past year or so had grown and they both worked well leading the team, but now all Jess could think about was how angry they were at each other and how quickly that friendship was falling apart. 

She took her headset from around her neck and laid it down on her console. Then she hurried as fast she could towards the lift.

“Jess! I wouldn’t go looking for them, if I were you!” Lester called out. “They’ve got some issues they need to work out on their own! Besides, Beta team have a rabid dog thing on the loose, they need you on standby!”

“It’s all right, Connor will cover for me.”

Connor nodded in the affirmative.

“I’ve left my epi-pen in the car again.”

It felt like a lame excuse to her, but no one tried to stop her from leaving.


She found Matt and Becker, or rather heard them, arguing in the break room.

Jess crept to the side of the door but kept out of the way and listened. She felt bad for doing so, but she couldn’t stop herself as the desperate need to help her friends, to help Becker, compelled her to stay. She wanted to understand why the two best friends on the team suddenly hated each other so much.

So she listened.

“Are you going to tell me what you did?” asked Becker, after the shouting of assorted swearing and threatening words were having no effect on Matt.

Matt sank heavily down into one of the chairs by the table. It was uneven and it wobbled as his weight shifted, annoying him so much he got up and pretended there was something interesting about the kettle on the counter. 

“No,” he said plainly. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”


“Then why are you following me and pissing me off?”

“I don’t know!” Matt turned his attention away from the kettle and looked directly at Becker. “I was worried about you?”

“Really? Oh that’s fantastic!”

Matt sneered. “Cut the sarcasm, Becker. It’s just low.”

“Fine! Okay then! Tell me, Matt… it is true what Weston said in there?” Becker’s voice was cracking, the emotional hurt and anger was barely contained behind his collapsing control.

Matt nodded and though he tried to feel justified at it, Jess saw the look of shame in his eyes. 

“It was the army. I did as I was ordered.”

“Did my dad ever put an order out on me?”

 The lingering silence in the room thickened the tension between the two men, their glaring daggered looks at each other and stiff threatening postures in their bodies implied a lot more than simple threats if the wrong thing was said.

Matt didn’t utter a word. It was obvious, even to Jess, what was being asked.

“Did he ever put an order out on me?” Becker repeated, seething through his teeth.

Again Matt didn’t reply, but it was there in his eyes.  

 Becker saw the answer and he nearly collapsed. He fell back and hit the wall, his skin went pale and tears suddenly formed in his eyes. He clutched at his chest as if he couldn’t breathe. 

At that moment, Jess wanted to go up to him and help, hold him and give him some kind—any kind—of comfort. She watched as he raked his fingers through his hair and knocked his head several times against the wall in denial.


Matt’s soft pleading utterance of his name snapped Becker out of his shock. He yelled suddenly and he lunged forward. His hand swiped at the table in the middle of the room, tipping it up and over.  The crash made Jess scream and for a moment she thought the guys would object for being here and snooping, but they didn’t even notice or care that she was there.

  “You bastard!” Becker spat and kicked at one of the chairs, sending it flying through the air and smashing into the wall. “So what the hell was I in all this? A bit of fun? A means to screw me up even more?”

“No! It was not like that!” Matt protested. “I can’t tell you Becker! Why can’t you understand that?”

“You can’t tell me why my dad sent you to kill me?! What? What even made you go against him? What made you dare to even think about disobeying his orders?”

“Because he’s a dick and he pissed me off?” Matt’s voice rose in volume and Jess hugged herself up against the door frame as he started pacing back and forth within the break room. When he collected himself, he approached Becker and tried to keep a handle on his temper.  “I didn’t do what he asked me to that night because for the first time in my stupid fucked up existence, I actually thought it was the wrong thing to do! I thought it was wrong!”

 “And what you ended up doing wasn’t?”

Matt grimaced in confusion and irritation.  “Shut the damned hell up, you prat! Course it wasn’t!”

“Thanks! I feel so much better hearing that from you! Cheers, mate, for not killing me!”

“Oh now you’re just being a complete wanker! This isn’t fair!”

“Then tell me your side of the story, Matt! Tell me what in all of that shit that crapped on me shouldn’t make me mad at you?”

“I can’t!”

Becker kicked at another chair, sending it crashing into the debris of the table. Jess felt so helpless and she wanted to be anything but. She edged into the room to make herself known and when she accidently bumped into the wreck of the table, both men did eventually notice her.

Jess was unsure, and afraid, of how they perceived her at that moment. They were looking at her, but she was insignificant. She didn’t matter to them right now and she might have well been invisible to the both of them. 

Matt’s eyes looked so bland, Jess couldn’t see the light or sparkle in them that she had always seen, he was tired and in clearly in pain. Becker was no different, but that pride and confidence he usually carried around with him had been sapped from him and he looked hurt and vulnerable, broken.

“Why? Why can’t you tell me?” Becker murmured.

“I can’t tell you, because I don’t want to, there are things I don’t want you to know about me, ever!  Okay? I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”  Becker really didn’t like that. He forced a smile and irritably rubbed his hand across his face. “You’re sorry. Of course you are!”

Matt couldn’t respond any more.  He stood there and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply and with great difficulty. Jess saw his knuckles going white as his fist clenched tighter and then she stumbled to the side as Matt began to walk away.

“He hit me, Matt! My dad hit me!”

Jess’ breath caught in her throat. Matt stopped dead in his tracks and turned back around, not quite sure if he heard correctly. Becker was stunned by having said it, he stumbled a bit and then scowled.

“There! Are you happy now? The bastard hit me! Isn’t that great?”

She saw Becker fall down on the floor, slump up against the wall and rest his arms on his knees. His head leaned back and he looked up at the ceiling. A single tear trailed down his face, but he looked anything but sad, his skin was flushed with red, the anger he was feeling was coming out through the shakes of his body.

It was silent for a long time. No one could move or utter a word for it all seemed unreal.   

“Disciplinary action he called it.”  Becker scoffed with laughter that sounded far from amused as he continued to look up at the ceiling. “But it was more of means for him to shut me up and keep me in line. From as early as I can remember, if I disobeyed his orders, if I didn’t do something right, I got punished. He would make me stand with my hands against the wall with my legs spread apart and he would use his belt on my back.  He would finish every time explaining that it was for my own good and I believed him.  He beat me and I didn’t say anything or do anything back, I just took it all! I let him! Then when I learnt that it was easier to just do as he said, to not argue with him or fail him, he stopped, for a while.  I took all that shit from that man, I let him force me to conform and when I find out that he’s done worse, how am I supposed to deal with this, Matt? How am I supposed to feel after all this time, knowing that my best friend worked for him and was ordered to kill me?”  

Jess didn’t realise that she was shaking now. She didn’t notice that it was her who was having difficulty in breathing after hearing that sudden confession. Her trembling hand rose to cover her mouth, her legs wobbled beneath her and she couldn’t move. She simply couldn’t do anything, though she wanted to go over to Becker and wrap her arms around him. She needed to show him that there were people who loved him and that he had friends who cared.  Her eyes began to sting and there was nothing Jess could do to stop the tears falling down her cheeks.

Then Jess watched as Matt slowly walked over to Becker. He was dazed, shocked and looked totally heartbroken as he literally fell to his knees next to him. While Becker looked at Matt with ambiguous contempt and regret, Matt himself was struggling to hide how devastated he was. She heard Matt’s faint and broken whispers of ‘I’m so sorry’, she saw his nervous hand touching at Becker’s knee and the flinching both of them did at the contact. Becker was trying to edge away from him, he wanted to push Matt back, hating the closeness but his resistance all but crumbled.  Jess watched—stunned—as Matt leaned forward and kissed Becker on the lips, lingering his mouth there for a few seconds before pulling back and resting his forehead against Becker’s, his hand clutching lightly at the side of his face.  

“I’m sorry I didn’t know.”


Six days ago

Matt woke up and it took him several minutes before he realised that he wasn’t in his own bed.  The drowsiness of sleep eventually cleared and a small smile drifted across his face as he realised Becker was curled up against him with his arm draped over his chest, still asleep.

Matt touched lightly at the nape of Becker’s neck and toyed at his still-damp hair, which had now turned a clammy cold. He turned his face to rest against the crown of Becker’s head and Matt breathed in Becker’s scent of sweat, tracing his hand slowly down his back. For a moment Matt was content, more so than he had ever been and it felt good.

 It didn’t feel good for long.

Matt’s smile faded when his fingers fleeted over some of Becker’s old scars and as he touched at one across his shoulder blade, he couldn’t help but wonder which of all these scars had been done by Becker’s dad. There were similar creature marks that Matt himself shared but he made out some faded marks and it infuriated him that he hadn’t asked about them on their first night together.  If he had known back then what Becker had been put through, Gregory Becker wouldn’t be alive right now.

Thinking about it now was making him mad.  He knew that Colonel Becker wasn’t the man everyone thought him to be, he knew what he was capable of, but to hurt his son like that?

He was getting angrier, Matt closed his eyes and tried not to give into the feelings of rage that were stirring inside him. He wrapped himself around Becker, holding him tightly to his chest and feeling the presence of his body against him as he tried to ignore the image of his hands wrapping round the old man’s neck and snapping it. It didn’t work. As Becker lightly squirmed in his hold, soft grunts and moans billowed over Matt’s skin and all he could think of were more painful and less quick methods of killing the man who had hurt Becker.  

Matt bit his tongue, blood filled his mouth and it only made him feel worse. He began to sweat and soon the mere ten ways of killing turned to twenty… then thirty.

                Becker’s revelation had upset Matt a lot more than he liked and at the time, thankfully he hadn’t wrecked the break room in response. How he had managed to restrain himself from doing so was a mystery to him, but the fact that he had instead offered Becker his comfort and support, made him feel a little bit better. 

Sex had been far from his mind when he’d taken Becker home. All he was going to do was stay with him and offer a supporting shoulder and maybe get some food and drink in, but instead Becker had initiated it all. As soon as they got through the front door, Becker dragged Matt into a furious kiss, pulling him to his bedroom and clawing off his clothes, at the same time telling him ‘no talk and no sympathising.’ 

Matt couldn’t object, even if he wanted to.

It had been ten years since he had done this with Becker, they weren’t seventeen and twenty two any more and it certainly wasn’t the exciting lustful craze that had sparked from a single instinctual kiss. It wasn’t interrupted by bouts of laughter and exclaims of pleasure, instead gasps of pain and choking cries had vocalised as Becker vented all of his anguish and hurt, all the hate and fear he had bottled up inside of him, by pounding himself deep in Matt’s arse and releasing inside him.

Matt allowed him to, he offered up no resistance, even as it hurt him. He accepted Becker totally, because he knew that he deserved it. When Becker had finished with him, when he had yelled and screamed obscenities and pulled roughly out of Matt, he turned over and curled up, muttering under his breath.              

Matt was left feeling uncomfortable and distressed afterwards, especially when Becker shrugged him off.  He was dazed and feeling so raw… he came by himself and it left him feeling even worse. But now, Becker was here, in his arms and holding him during his slumber, so there was only one thing he could do.

Matt slowly rolled onto his side and lay there for a moment, holding Becker, feeling his breaths on his skin before briefly planting a kiss on his brow. When Becker responded, his head lifting up and his mouth lazily brushing against Matt’s, it briefly elated him, so Matt kissed back and it spurred a bittersweet entanglement. The kiss deepened and their limbs entangled and—oh god—it felt so wonderful, until Becker opened his eyes.

Matt was pushed away and that hope and elation in his chest died. Becker wiped his mouth as if he had just eaten or tasted something vile and moved away, sitting up and scratching at his chest. He looked haggard and so pale.  

“What are you still doing here?” he asked, yawning, rubbing his face and scowling.

Of course, Matt shouldn’t have expected any pleasant morning reconciliations. He threw back the sheets and got up, pacing around the room naked as he looked for his clothes. 

“Sorry. I must have fallen asleep.”

“Yeah…well lock up when you leave.”

Becker lay back down and pulled the covers over his head. That was it.  

Matt almost went over to him, to touch reassuringly at his shoulder or back, to let him know that everything was going to be all right, but he didn’t. He pulled on the remainder of his clothes and walked out of the apartment, locking it behind him.

He had Weston to deal with now, but there was one more thing he had to do, for Becker.

It was going to be all right.

Becker was never going to have to worry about his father again.

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20 comments or Leave a comment
ebonyfeather From: ebonyfeather Date: September 18th, 2012 06:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
*whimpers* You're being mean to the boys again...

Very angsty. Maybe now that Matt knows more about Becker's past he'll be more willing to open up about his, though.

Great chapter!
basched From: basched Date: September 18th, 2012 07:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

I know! :( I'm so horrible...I don't know why I'm doing this, but it's so angsty.

Thanks for reading Ebs! :) Much thanks!
freddiejoey From: freddiejoey Date: September 18th, 2012 07:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lovely angst - for them, not us.

"Matt slowly rolled onto his side and lay there for a moment, holding Becker, feeling his breaths on his skin before briefly planting a kiss on his brow. When Becker responded, his head lifting up and his mouth lazily brushing against Matt’s, it briefly elated him, so Matt kissed back and it spurred a bittersweet entanglement. The kiss deepened and their limbs entangled and—oh god—it felt so wonderful, until Becker opened his eyes."

Nicely done groovy girl. I look forward to more.

Edited at 2012-09-18 07:43 pm (UTC)
basched From: basched Date: September 25th, 2012 05:26 am (UTC) (Link)
eek! I didn't reply to this?! I'm sorry groovy gal!

Thank you very much for your lovely comments, as always! I shall try and get the next chapter done as soon as poss.. having a little trouble dealing with the angst! It is a bit much! lol

flaccidduck From: flaccidduck Date: September 19th, 2012 03:21 am (UTC) (Link)
This is so well written. Loving the journey this fic takes us on.
basched From: basched Date: September 20th, 2012 10:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! :) I hope that you will like where it finishes. Much appreciation for your comments, cheers!
natchris From: natchris Date: September 19th, 2012 03:41 am (UTC) (Link)
I so enjoy a wonderful helping of angst.

Terrific stuff.
basched From: basched Date: September 20th, 2012 10:56 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you very much! Glad you liked it!
judithjohn From: judithjohn Date: September 19th, 2012 07:43 am (UTC) (Link)
*sniffs into tissues*

But it is fabulous!
basched From: basched Date: September 20th, 2012 10:57 am (UTC) (Link)

*sniffs* I don't know why I'm being so mean to them!

But thank you! XD
fififolle From: fififolle Date: September 19th, 2012 08:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
JESUS. Oh my FUCKING GOD. I don't think I've ever read a fic with such intense angst before. AMAZING. I mean, no one pushes Lester. NO ONE. And poor bloody Becker. I LOVED IT SO MUCH IT MAKES ME LOOK SICK. Come on, Matt. Make it better.
:D \o/ \o/ \o/
basched From: basched Date: September 20th, 2012 11:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Whoa fifi! :)

I'm so pleased that you liked it and that I could do something that gets such a response like that from you! It means a great deal. Thank you!

Yeah, no one pushes Lester...but Matt did and I think he will be in trouble for that!

You are not sick fifi! You're wonderful!

Matt might make things worse. ;)

Cheers luv! XD
celeste9 From: celeste9 Date: September 22nd, 2012 01:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Ooh, this so angsty and plotty, love it! (Matt shoved Lester!!!) Jess' POV works really well and that last scene is so super painful. (Also, Matt! What are you doing!)
basched From: basched Date: September 25th, 2012 05:28 am (UTC) (Link)

Thanks! :) (Yeah I know! No one shoves Lester and gets away with it!)

As for what Matt is doing? Well... it's not going to help. *eek*

Cheers for reading, I'm glad you're liking it.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: September 22nd, 2012 10:54 am (UTC) (Link)
meepmeepmeepmeepmeepmeepmeep! Oh god, this is so powerful and heartbreaking. I just want to wrap Becker up a huge great big hug and cuddle him until it's all better.

Poor Jess, having to witness her friends behaving like that, but it's just the sort of thing she would do - she has to go after them because she cares too much not to. That whole scene worked so well from Jess' pov, rather than from either of the boys.

Meep! This is going to get worse before it gets better, isn't it?
basched From: basched Date: September 25th, 2012 05:29 am (UTC) (Link)

Thanks very much! I'm glad that Jess' POV worked, I thought coming from someone else's perspective rather than Matt or Becker's would be best, glad it was so.

Erm... yes. It's going to get worse. As for it getting better? Who knows? :)

Cheers again!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: September 25th, 2012 07:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's going to get worse. As for it getting better? Who knows? :)

lsellersfic From: lsellersfic Date: September 26th, 2012 03:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nooo! Matt! Don't!
basched From: basched Date: September 27th, 2012 10:01 am (UTC) (Link)

Noooo Matt don't? ;)

*scheme scheme scheme.*

nietie From: nietie Date: October 6th, 2012 06:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wonderful angst! (sorry, boys *g*)

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